I enjoyed keeping a blog when I was a Peace Corps Volunteer serving in Ukraine 2004-2006. The blog encouraged me to think reflectively and summarize major events. Additionally, it allowed me to occasionally look back over my experiences and realize I had grown, or laugh at a memory I had forgotten.
Life is full of interesting endeavors, and my Peace Corps blog proved to be a good way for me to document a big life event. Now, as I approach medical school, I feel as though I did when I was about to leave the country for Peace Corps service- like standing in line before a big, scary roller coaster. I know I will get on the ride soon, and I’m both thrilled and full of butterflies.
How did I get here? While in Peace Corps, my primary goal was being a Teacher of English as a Foreign Language (TEFL) volunteer, but as part of this program I was also encouraged to work with local people to develop the community. I discovered that I was most enthusiastic about teaching others when the topic was related to healthcare. I learned that health was THE most important thing- absolutely essential to people’s well being- and I felt a soar of energy when I spoke with those who needed understanding or help with a health issue. I met many who were not healthy, and I came face-to-face with trauma and injury. I was not scared and I did not get overwhelmed (like I thought I might).
I’ve always known I wanted to help people in my career. As a volunteer, I realized that I loved to listen, problem-solve, and share compassion with others. While still in Peace Corps, I learned what is required to apply to medical school, and was accepted to begin a post-bac premedical program (which is a slightly more structured way for “older” graduates to complete undergraduate prerequisite classes).
Since I moved back to the USA my life became filled with basic science classes, and a part-time job with thyroid patients and doctors. I was challenged by the lack of creativity in my studies (which mainly involved memorization and formulaic writing). I got used to larger classes with daily pod-casts, and curves that could turn a 57 into a B-. However, the worst part was the fear that occasionally consumed all of my peers- that getting into medical school was an unreachable goal, and that the only people who could be doctors were flawless. I tried not to believe these fears because I know many doctors who aren’t perfect.
In nearly two years- I have completed the classes, taken the MCAT, and been accepted to start medical school. It’s astounding- almost unbelievable, especially when I remember that in addition to this new career direction, I have settled into a long-term relationship. I married the man who became my best friend in 2004, when we were volunteers training together in a small village south of Kyiv.
So, here I am- a new wife, and soon-to-be medical student. My orientation starts on August 25th, and I am slowly getting myself prepared for what is to come. This involves submitting paperwork, an online training, and occasionally lying in bed thinking about the choice I’ve made.
I think about the cost, and the loans I may accumulate. I think about whether I will be able to have children before I am 35- and before I am financially stable- and whether I will be able to devote myself to my family with a demanding career. I wonder whether I am perhaps too compassionate for medicine. I fear I may cry in front of my patients or faint during surgery. But at this point, I know I have overcome most of my fears in life by facing them, and I trust that I am here for a reason.
