Like most exam weeks, last week came and went rather quickly. After intense studying for a 2-week course, I felt like relaxing this weekend. Although I did manage to take my first neurology online quiz on Saturday, I spent most of the weekend enjoying the non-student aspects of my life.
Yet, even while I was trying to do other things, medicine still whispered a few times (and I am not referring to the tiny voice that always is telling me, “study!”). I am talking about the big questions that run through my head, such as “what I am doing in medical school?” and “what exactly do I want to do as a physician?” I still feel passionately about being a doctor, but as I learn more about medicine, I realize how vast this field is! I also realize there are some parts of medicine, although I hate to admit it, that I do not enjoy. Hence even though it is too early, I can’t help wondering, “Where will my passion and gifts fit in best?”
On Friday, after my exam, I started reading several articles that my grandfather clipped for me this summer. Among them were two articles from my grandparents’ local paper about the shortage of primary care doctors. I found two quotes that I really loved:
“…the family doctor is often a person with an almost religious ‘calling’ to enter the field.” –from Rx. More Docs
“…the kind of student who gravitates to family practice or general internal medicine tends to have a special calling, a sort of Peace Corps mentality.” -from Family Doctors Become Rarer
That evening I met a new woman who was a primary care doctor and loves her job. She asked me the common question, “So, do you know what type of medicine you’re interested in?” And I gave her my common answer, “I’m trying to keep an open mind. However, if I were forced to apply today I would either choose a residency in family medicine or internal medicine.” We chatted for a while, and her story of patient relationships, motherhood, supportive colleagues, and a gratifying career made me feel stronger about general medicine.
As the quotes describe above, I do feel some kind of push to go into primary care. As a former Peace Corps Volunteer, I wonder if it is my actual “Peace Corps” mentality. Another version of a quote comes to mind… “Ask not what medicine can do for you, but what you can do for medicine.” I still have plenty of time to make the decision about my career, but I can’t stop wondering as I explore the options. Meanwhile, I love my neurology class, and wonder… “Maybe neurology?”
