I missed my weekly mark without any good excuse. The past two weeks have been eventful, and I find myself with more thoughts than I have time to write (which I am sure will become a common theme as I enter my clinical years). I am not sure what to tell you about first.
I finished studying the heart, the highlight of which was re-adorning myself with scrubs and returning to the anatomy lab to see my school’s “heart collection.” The experience included conversing with the pathologists, and holding over 35 hearts donated by families, some which had been preserved since the 1960′s. There were many infarcts (heart attacks), septal defects, and tiny baby hearts with anomalies incompatible with life. I was fascinated to insert my finger through bovine and mechanical valves, hold a heart as big as my head (from a patient who had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy where the muscle fibers had grown like a haystack rather than in a row), and finally feel the tough fibrous walls of a patient’s heart with scleroderma. There was one normal heart amidst them all, and cradling the small organ in my hand reminded me of my friend Will’s recent blog entry about miracles. He writes that a miracle is “not in the event, but in standing in the place where we can see the wonder that underlies it.” Holding this tiny healthy pump and feeling my own heartbeat was a miracle.
The second major event happened during one of my weekly visits to the hospital where I finally understood the eye exam. If you have never used an opthalmascope, imagine closing one eye, holding a tiny flashlight, and trying to look into a room through a 2mm keyhole. Top that challenge with the fact that this room is inside the face of a stranger, and to accomplish it all you have to get uncomfortably close. While I had seen glimpses of vessels and what I thought to be the lighter fundus (where the nerve attaches to the back of the eye), I had never seen the entire picture- the fundus with vessels splaying outward like a deep sea creature. After dedicating a long (blinding) time with some student friends, I finally saw the whole room. What an exciting moment! From now on, the eyes will never be the same- another miracle.
The third exciting event is that I started studying for my Board Exam last week (miracle #3!?). I activated my 90-day “Q-bank,” and began writing notes in my copy of First Aid (the resource book used by almost every medical student I know). I am attempting to balance studying for the Boards and my classes simultaneously, and so far I am not sure if my efforts are in concert. I am still daunted by the task of Board preparation, but at least I have the materials I need and understand the reality of the work that needs to be done. I am starting with the things that worry me the most right now- biochemistry and hematology/oncology.
More excitement- I submitted my rotation schedule for next year! My preferred order is: Pediatrics, Medicine, OBGYN, Psychiatry, and Surgery, but I have no idea if I will get this choice. Overall my favorite days are spent practicing Physical Diagnosis at the hospital, which has included visiting Spanish-speaking patients. At some point, I will dedicate an entire entry to my hospital experiences because they give me many memorable thoughts.
Finally, I am in the midst of studying the gastrointestinal tract. Today’s lectures included liver function tests, viral hepatitis, pancreatitis, diarrhea, and a board review about skin cancers. My 29th birthday is this Thursday, the night before our final exam, and I am grateful that the end of the week will bring some time for celebration-and spring break, miracle #4!
Posted by Liz 
