Step 1: Buy a turkey on sale after Thanksgiving (you were probably working on Thanksgiving or were too exhausted to cook). Be sure to get to your local 24-hour grocery store around 6-7:30am, which is either right after your holiday call-night ended or when you woke up (because this IS sleeping-in when you get up before 5am daily). It’s not crowded, and you’re the only person buying turkey! Doesn’t this make you feel extra special?
Step 2: Thaw the turkey in the fridge (because you are scared of all the microbes growing at room temperature) and without any added salt (because you know the detrimental effects of salt on blood vessels).
Turkey's Left Ventricle
Step 3: Wash hands, put on plastic gloves and remove the giblets. Now, this is the fun part. Carefully identify each giblet, and observe the anatomy. Who knew a turkey had a 4-chambered heart so similar to humans?
Step 4: Preheat the oven.
Step 5: Stuff the turkey (if desired) and rub with lots of herbs and a little melted butter (because you also know the detrimental effects of too much butter).
Practicing figure-8, running stitch and knots with 3.0 Vicryl.
Step 6: Get out your sutures, make sure your gloved-hands are still covered with herb butter (to mimic the slippery effects of blood) and practice away!
Step 7: Bake the turkey.
Mmmm...
Step 8: Enjoy. The turkey is delicious and nobody knows what happened in the kitchen but you (and your blog readers).
This is an hysterical entry!! I love your concept of sleeping-in. I’m not a medical student, nor an anatomy student, but I, too, did have fun exploring the muscles, etc. of chickens as I learned to cut a whole chicken into pieces. However, I didn’t spend any time investigating the giblets…Yuck. I never got to the fine art of suturing a stuffed bird, either. I do recall with interest watching a surgeon eating fried chicken at our church suppers when I was a child. Most of us, adults and children, picked up our fried chicken pieces and bit in. Not the surgeon. He used his knife and fork, and produced bits of chicken meat that even the adults marveled about.
Best entry ever!